Desire is its own answer, because it’s healing. Desire in the sense of feeling--the opposite of desensitization, anomie, indifference, apathy—because desire is natural. Now you might not be able to satisfy it, but the recognition of the desire is in itself a virtue. Like thought is natural to the mind, desire is natural to the heart.
-Allen Ginsberg
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Better Living Through Dance
In a return to the original charge I set out with for this blog, I offer you the following post. Last month marked the 8th anniversary of Ecstatic Dance Seattle . This seems like a great time to share reflections on my experiences with it (part 1) as well as an interview I did with this thriving community’s founder, Mary Anderson (part 2).
Part 1:
World music wafts up the stairs as I open the door. I descend them with anticipation. Greeted with a warm hug and a smile at the door by Mary Anderson, founder and den mother of Ecstatic Dance Seattle, I move into the darkness surrounding the floor. If dance is already cooking, it will be swirling with happy folks grooving in a variety of ways: drumming, jumping, hooting, howling, dancing in every style possible, rolling in puppy piles, flying through the air. I wade into the fray and find my way to my own rhythm. As the evening unfolds, I might share a few dances with friends or a circle thereof. I usually visit the corner altar for a few moments of prayer or meditation. Maybe I’ll take another crack at my terror of contact improv.
If it is a rough day, I have been known to break down and cry my eyes out. This is totally ok. In fact, the several times this has happened, I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by circle after circle of folks who had stopped dancing and were simply quietly holding space in support of my tears. I have done the same for others in turn. Eventually, we wind down for circle at the end.
The whole group, which can include 70 folks easily, gather in a circle to share thoughts and experiences of dance, then discuss community events. It is here that the fabric of the community is woven. This simple exercise has generated powerful bonds. Many romances, friendships, and a vibrant community have formed here over the years. Housemates are located, workshops of all kinds are announced, assistance is arranged for those in need, innumerable parties are organized and advertised.
When I first got invited to check out Ecstatic Dance, the Gen X curmudgeon in me giggled and tried to distance myself from these heartfelt displays of emotion. I was too self-conscious to dance with abandon and express my emotions in public. But something kept pulling me back, week after week. Over time, I have experienced dance as a place to heal my relationship with my body, express my feelings, and to open up to my connection with the divine. I have made friends of all ages. Dance has become a practice I cannot go without for too long.
I remember once looking at a photo at the Seattle Art Museum of a tribe somewhere in Africa dancing and my companion saying that she longed for connections to a tribe and the opportunities to dance like the people in the picture were doing. We agreed that these opportunities are largely absent from mainstream American life. I feel incredibly blessed to prove this assumption incorrect.
As one dancer commented with glee in circle recently, “What’s happening here is just outrageous!” And it is - In the best way possible. No matter how demoralizing the events of the week may be, when I enter Ecstatic Dance space, I know a better world is possible- heck, that it exists now. It’s a world in which we are encouraged to express our emotions no matter what they are and to support each other in doing so. Where we are encouraged to relish our bodies in whatever state they may be, and to build truly supportive connections- a network to activate in happy or sad and difficult times.
Ecstatic Dance is part of a larger movement of facilitated free-form dance. Its cousins include Five Rhythms, Contact Improv, and hooping. Conscious Dancer magazine chronicles this community in all its permutations across the country. Embodiment, full emotional expression, and community building are core values of free form dance communities.
Between Ecstatic Dance Seattle, Turtle and Flying Turtle dance, Dance Church at the Transcendent Church of Bass, and The Morphic Field Dance, you can dance every night of the week in this town! Check out Soleil Hepner’s Seattle Dance Source for a calendar and news about the community. Looking forward to seeing you on the dance floor!
Part 1:
World music wafts up the stairs as I open the door. I descend them with anticipation. Greeted with a warm hug and a smile at the door by Mary Anderson, founder and den mother of Ecstatic Dance Seattle, I move into the darkness surrounding the floor. If dance is already cooking, it will be swirling with happy folks grooving in a variety of ways: drumming, jumping, hooting, howling, dancing in every style possible, rolling in puppy piles, flying through the air. I wade into the fray and find my way to my own rhythm. As the evening unfolds, I might share a few dances with friends or a circle thereof. I usually visit the corner altar for a few moments of prayer or meditation. Maybe I’ll take another crack at my terror of contact improv.
If it is a rough day, I have been known to break down and cry my eyes out. This is totally ok. In fact, the several times this has happened, I opened my eyes to find myself surrounded by circle after circle of folks who had stopped dancing and were simply quietly holding space in support of my tears. I have done the same for others in turn. Eventually, we wind down for circle at the end.
The whole group, which can include 70 folks easily, gather in a circle to share thoughts and experiences of dance, then discuss community events. It is here that the fabric of the community is woven. This simple exercise has generated powerful bonds. Many romances, friendships, and a vibrant community have formed here over the years. Housemates are located, workshops of all kinds are announced, assistance is arranged for those in need, innumerable parties are organized and advertised.
When I first got invited to check out Ecstatic Dance, the Gen X curmudgeon in me giggled and tried to distance myself from these heartfelt displays of emotion. I was too self-conscious to dance with abandon and express my emotions in public. But something kept pulling me back, week after week. Over time, I have experienced dance as a place to heal my relationship with my body, express my feelings, and to open up to my connection with the divine. I have made friends of all ages. Dance has become a practice I cannot go without for too long.
I remember once looking at a photo at the Seattle Art Museum of a tribe somewhere in Africa dancing and my companion saying that she longed for connections to a tribe and the opportunities to dance like the people in the picture were doing. We agreed that these opportunities are largely absent from mainstream American life. I feel incredibly blessed to prove this assumption incorrect.
As one dancer commented with glee in circle recently, “What’s happening here is just outrageous!” And it is - In the best way possible. No matter how demoralizing the events of the week may be, when I enter Ecstatic Dance space, I know a better world is possible- heck, that it exists now. It’s a world in which we are encouraged to express our emotions no matter what they are and to support each other in doing so. Where we are encouraged to relish our bodies in whatever state they may be, and to build truly supportive connections- a network to activate in happy or sad and difficult times.
Ecstatic Dance is part of a larger movement of facilitated free-form dance. Its cousins include Five Rhythms, Contact Improv, and hooping. Conscious Dancer magazine chronicles this community in all its permutations across the country. Embodiment, full emotional expression, and community building are core values of free form dance communities.
Between Ecstatic Dance Seattle, Turtle and Flying Turtle dance, Dance Church at the Transcendent Church of Bass, and The Morphic Field Dance, you can dance every night of the week in this town! Check out Soleil Hepner’s Seattle Dance Source for a calendar and news about the community. Looking forward to seeing you on the dance floor!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Surrender and Release
Had looked forward to dancing all day. Hung out on the Hill till dance time, got there early, and stretched out while talking to my friend, a fellow recent divorcee. We talked of the mixed blessing that is divorce. How the grief overwhelms you some days and on others, the freedom of movement into territory previously off the map of what was possible is literally cause for bliss. We talked of our children. Mine are little. His are grown up. He spoke of the powerful shift in his relationship with his sons recently, the newfound openness, honesty, and intimacy. I took a deep breath and sighed when he said this. He stopped and checked in with me about my big response to this and look of sadness.
I felt sad hearing this lovely newfound connection my friend has with his sons because it causes me to call into question if we can ever make truly honest, flexible, “living” relationships that do not result in all of these stuck places where this kind of intimacy doesn’t exist because we are trying to uphold relationship structures that don’t really work. Why did it take getting divorced for him to have this with his sons? Why did it take getting divorced for me to feel like my soul is intact? There are probably lots of complicated answers to both of those questions. And maybe these are the wrong questions. Maybe it isn’t mine to ask why. Some things are a mystery. We ended the conversation with words of our mutual gratitude for the complex, messy blessings that our respective paths of divorce have bestowed on us.
I have been wondering lately why I have dated or been romantically interested in a number of people who haven’t really been available in some way or another and my conclusion is that I am actually totally terrified of getting into another committed relationship. My faith in this institution has been blasted to smithereens, my heart shattered. I used to be such a romantic! My heart ran the show to a fault. Blind leaps of faith at every major turn of my life! Now I don’t trust my heart or anyone else’s to not lead into blind alleys.
Once the music started, I made my way to the lovely altar to pray to the statue of Chinese Goddess of Mercy, Kuan Yin. Then, I chose an angel card from the array in front of me. I turned it over. “Surrender and Release” it stated, unsurprisingly. I know I need to surrender and release my grief, my bitterness, my fear of the places love can take us- the mystical misadventures that literally turn our lives upside down and crack our hearts. Open.
I felt sad hearing this lovely newfound connection my friend has with his sons because it causes me to call into question if we can ever make truly honest, flexible, “living” relationships that do not result in all of these stuck places where this kind of intimacy doesn’t exist because we are trying to uphold relationship structures that don’t really work. Why did it take getting divorced for him to have this with his sons? Why did it take getting divorced for me to feel like my soul is intact? There are probably lots of complicated answers to both of those questions. And maybe these are the wrong questions. Maybe it isn’t mine to ask why. Some things are a mystery. We ended the conversation with words of our mutual gratitude for the complex, messy blessings that our respective paths of divorce have bestowed on us.
I have been wondering lately why I have dated or been romantically interested in a number of people who haven’t really been available in some way or another and my conclusion is that I am actually totally terrified of getting into another committed relationship. My faith in this institution has been blasted to smithereens, my heart shattered. I used to be such a romantic! My heart ran the show to a fault. Blind leaps of faith at every major turn of my life! Now I don’t trust my heart or anyone else’s to not lead into blind alleys.
Once the music started, I made my way to the lovely altar to pray to the statue of Chinese Goddess of Mercy, Kuan Yin. Then, I chose an angel card from the array in front of me. I turned it over. “Surrender and Release” it stated, unsurprisingly. I know I need to surrender and release my grief, my bitterness, my fear of the places love can take us- the mystical misadventures that literally turn our lives upside down and crack our hearts. Open.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
SIFFin'
Been attending a few screenings at SIFF this week. Here are a few thoughts on what I have seen:
1. Opening night gala screening of In the Loop: Overall, I found this film frustrating despite its awesome cast and consistently acerbic wit. I rarely felt drawn into the narrative of this film and felt little sympathy for its primary characters. I wanted to cheer for the hapless but principled Parliamentary representative, but I never felt connected to him. There wasn't enough of his basic humanity revealed to me. He felt like a clown. I never bought that any of these people were really running the country in US or Great Britain. Which I kinda needed to do even if it was a political farce. Thus, I didn't invest me in the stakes of the story, tragic as they were (war).
2. Warlords: I have enjoyed big Hong Kongese historical epics in the past, so I figured I would give this one a shot. I immediately got drawn into the love story, which I hoped would have more primacy throughout the film and I hoped for some badass martial arts scenes a la Crouching Tiger... The crux of the story however was about the relationship between the 3 main male characters of the film, who take an oath as blood brothers to honor their bond no matter what comes their way. They survive years and years of a grisly, bloody war which they seemed to have a pretty good time fighting represented by lots of montages of them battling, then laughing together, brothers in arms. Then, the political tide turnes against them. After months of starvation and misery, terrible choices must be made with tragic results.
Ultimately, for my taste, there was too much blood and gore and the only female character was a pawn. No Michelle Yeoh kicking ass anywhere in the vicinity.
3. About Elly: This Iranian film is about an extended family going to the coast for a long weekend. One of the family's young nursery school teacher joins them in order to meet a recently divorced friend of the family who is looking for a new wife. The film takes a startling turn halfway through and explores the consequences of a series of little half-truths innocently told throughout. I found this film riveting despite the fact that SIFF staff accidentally started the screening in the middle of the film, opening as the pivotal point in the drama unfolded. I was so drawn in that I actually didnt notice that no titles or credits rolled. The screening continued to be plagued with technical difficulties resulting in seeing the entire film out of order. But no matter. The story was terrifyingly familiar and plausible, as were the family dynamics that events ignite. I also really appreciated the window into contemporary Iranian culture this film provided.
4. It Takes a Cult: This documentary explores the 40 year history of the Love Israel Family here in the greater Seattle area. Weaving back and forth between the history of the Family and his own nuclear family's experience of being part of the Family, the filmmaker offers both positive and negative perspectives on growing up in a, well, cult. The archival footage of the community over the years was a real treat to watch. The bonds among the community are profound despite many problematic narratives shared by its members of drugs, sex, folk music, brainwashing, Jesus, book burning, and patriarchy.
1. Opening night gala screening of In the Loop: Overall, I found this film frustrating despite its awesome cast and consistently acerbic wit. I rarely felt drawn into the narrative of this film and felt little sympathy for its primary characters. I wanted to cheer for the hapless but principled Parliamentary representative, but I never felt connected to him. There wasn't enough of his basic humanity revealed to me. He felt like a clown. I never bought that any of these people were really running the country in US or Great Britain. Which I kinda needed to do even if it was a political farce. Thus, I didn't invest me in the stakes of the story, tragic as they were (war).
2. Warlords: I have enjoyed big Hong Kongese historical epics in the past, so I figured I would give this one a shot. I immediately got drawn into the love story, which I hoped would have more primacy throughout the film and I hoped for some badass martial arts scenes a la Crouching Tiger... The crux of the story however was about the relationship between the 3 main male characters of the film, who take an oath as blood brothers to honor their bond no matter what comes their way. They survive years and years of a grisly, bloody war which they seemed to have a pretty good time fighting represented by lots of montages of them battling, then laughing together, brothers in arms. Then, the political tide turnes against them. After months of starvation and misery, terrible choices must be made with tragic results.
Ultimately, for my taste, there was too much blood and gore and the only female character was a pawn. No Michelle Yeoh kicking ass anywhere in the vicinity.
3. About Elly: This Iranian film is about an extended family going to the coast for a long weekend. One of the family's young nursery school teacher joins them in order to meet a recently divorced friend of the family who is looking for a new wife. The film takes a startling turn halfway through and explores the consequences of a series of little half-truths innocently told throughout. I found this film riveting despite the fact that SIFF staff accidentally started the screening in the middle of the film, opening as the pivotal point in the drama unfolded. I was so drawn in that I actually didnt notice that no titles or credits rolled. The screening continued to be plagued with technical difficulties resulting in seeing the entire film out of order. But no matter. The story was terrifyingly familiar and plausible, as were the family dynamics that events ignite. I also really appreciated the window into contemporary Iranian culture this film provided.
4. It Takes a Cult: This documentary explores the 40 year history of the Love Israel Family here in the greater Seattle area. Weaving back and forth between the history of the Family and his own nuclear family's experience of being part of the Family, the filmmaker offers both positive and negative perspectives on growing up in a, well, cult. The archival footage of the community over the years was a real treat to watch. The bonds among the community are profound despite many problematic narratives shared by its members of drugs, sex, folk music, brainwashing, Jesus, book burning, and patriarchy.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A few brief reflections on the Landmark Forum
Completed the Landmark Forum last weekend. It had been a long time coming. Friends have encouraged me to do the Forum for almost 5 years. Despite a lot of pressure, I really wasn’t ready until I was ready.
At long last, and in a state of fairly intense emotional distress (or was it, as our Forum Leader identified it, self-generated drama?) due to divorce grief and raging fibromyalgia symptoms, I limped in and tearfully took my seat. Here are some thoughts on the experience…
For starters, it is a little hard to imagine that “transformation” is going to take place in a dingy corporate room with seats in rows and fluorescent lighting over the course of 3 13 hour days and an evening. The setting is especially humorous in contrast with the myriad wellness, retreat centers, and yoga studios the majority of personal growth courses I have taken have occurred. No statues of the Buddha or Kuan Yin, no prayer flags or sage green walls, no Nag Champa burning, no Trees of Life or pentacles, no yoga pants. Instead, a herd of folks dressed in business casual hover in the back of the room to “assist” in passing out name tags, manning the door, and writing copious notes while our brusque and dry-witted Forum Leader and coach, Jeff presided.
I won’t go into the content of the Forum. There are some highly valuable tools and perspectives offered that truly free up the mind and heart to live more peacefully, joyfully, to “create new possibilities.” If the proof is indeed in the proverbial pudding, I feel as a trained researcher that I can safely say that my participation in the Forum resulted in my walking out of there on Sunday night in far better shape than the condition in which I entered. I genuinely and heartily recommend checking it out. I am considering doing the Advanced Forum in the near future.
Another benefit of having completed the Forum is that it gives me a common paradigm and "language" with which to communicate with the many other Landmark grads in the community. While I don't know if I am gonna walk around saying "got it" every time somebody explains something (I personally found it a little patronizing) but I do like the phrase "get complete", as awkward as it is, to explain a process of truly resolving an issue and leaving it in the past in our relationships. I dig rackets and strong suits, too. Really fascinating, insightful material that you can return to over and over again to work through stuff.
However, that said, a number of things turned me off.
1. For starters, their infamous business model. No money spent on marketing. Just precious HOURS devoted to pressuring participants into inviting their loved ones to come do the forum Yuck! Disliked being pressured by my friends to do it in the past. LOATHED being pressured to invite others in the context of the Forum itself.
2. I don’t know what their programs look like when they teach them in Non-Western countries, but from my perspective, the underlying set of assumptions the whole model is predicated upon is classist and a monument to white privilege.
Consider as an example of this, the point in the Forum where the Facilitator/Coach is running around the room in circles demonstrating the futility of getting a college education, a meaningless corporate job, and getting married because it’s the “next thing to do” or because one is concerned about how one “looks”. Not the reality of MOST people.
Consider also the relatively high cost of participating. While it is a low price from the perspective of the number of dollars per hour for the quality of the material, it is no trifling matter for most people around the world to come up with the kind of cash Landmark costs.
3. My time and energy are precious to me and I have already spent WAY too much time in my life sitting in uncomfortable chairs under migraine-inducing fluorescent lights. Not really how I want to spend my weekends.
I really appreciate the “freedom to create new possibilities” that Landmark has offered me and I prefer to spend my money, time and energy in transformative processes that are holistic in approach, include embodiment practices, and operate within liberatory frameworks. Starting Holistic Peer Counseling System training next. Which, as India Turner, teacher facilitator of this work is the "yin" to Landmark's "yang". Check out the website here: http://www.holisticpeercounseling.org/
Feel free to share. I know I am treading on some beloved and sacred ground to many Landmark fans, here. My apologies in advance if this was in any way offensive. That was not my intent.
At long last, and in a state of fairly intense emotional distress (or was it, as our Forum Leader identified it, self-generated drama?) due to divorce grief and raging fibromyalgia symptoms, I limped in and tearfully took my seat. Here are some thoughts on the experience…
For starters, it is a little hard to imagine that “transformation” is going to take place in a dingy corporate room with seats in rows and fluorescent lighting over the course of 3 13 hour days and an evening. The setting is especially humorous in contrast with the myriad wellness, retreat centers, and yoga studios the majority of personal growth courses I have taken have occurred. No statues of the Buddha or Kuan Yin, no prayer flags or sage green walls, no Nag Champa burning, no Trees of Life or pentacles, no yoga pants. Instead, a herd of folks dressed in business casual hover in the back of the room to “assist” in passing out name tags, manning the door, and writing copious notes while our brusque and dry-witted Forum Leader and coach, Jeff presided.
I won’t go into the content of the Forum. There are some highly valuable tools and perspectives offered that truly free up the mind and heart to live more peacefully, joyfully, to “create new possibilities.” If the proof is indeed in the proverbial pudding, I feel as a trained researcher that I can safely say that my participation in the Forum resulted in my walking out of there on Sunday night in far better shape than the condition in which I entered. I genuinely and heartily recommend checking it out. I am considering doing the Advanced Forum in the near future.
Another benefit of having completed the Forum is that it gives me a common paradigm and "language" with which to communicate with the many other Landmark grads in the community. While I don't know if I am gonna walk around saying "got it" every time somebody explains something (I personally found it a little patronizing) but I do like the phrase "get complete", as awkward as it is, to explain a process of truly resolving an issue and leaving it in the past in our relationships. I dig rackets and strong suits, too. Really fascinating, insightful material that you can return to over and over again to work through stuff.
However, that said, a number of things turned me off.
1. For starters, their infamous business model. No money spent on marketing. Just precious HOURS devoted to pressuring participants into inviting their loved ones to come do the forum Yuck! Disliked being pressured by my friends to do it in the past. LOATHED being pressured to invite others in the context of the Forum itself.
2. I don’t know what their programs look like when they teach them in Non-Western countries, but from my perspective, the underlying set of assumptions the whole model is predicated upon is classist and a monument to white privilege.
Consider as an example of this, the point in the Forum where the Facilitator/Coach is running around the room in circles demonstrating the futility of getting a college education, a meaningless corporate job, and getting married because it’s the “next thing to do” or because one is concerned about how one “looks”. Not the reality of MOST people.
Consider also the relatively high cost of participating. While it is a low price from the perspective of the number of dollars per hour for the quality of the material, it is no trifling matter for most people around the world to come up with the kind of cash Landmark costs.
3. My time and energy are precious to me and I have already spent WAY too much time in my life sitting in uncomfortable chairs under migraine-inducing fluorescent lights. Not really how I want to spend my weekends.
I really appreciate the “freedom to create new possibilities” that Landmark has offered me and I prefer to spend my money, time and energy in transformative processes that are holistic in approach, include embodiment practices, and operate within liberatory frameworks. Starting Holistic Peer Counseling System training next. Which, as India Turner, teacher facilitator of this work is the "yin" to Landmark's "yang". Check out the website here: http://www.holisticpeercounseling.org/
Feel free to share. I know I am treading on some beloved and sacred ground to many Landmark fans, here. My apologies in advance if this was in any way offensive. That was not my intent.
Monday, April 27, 2009
April Mix
The content of a mixed cd I made recently. If you are a fan of the mixed tape or cd, I urge you to check out my ex-husband's website, www.artofthemix.org where a whole community has catalyzed around their shared love of this craft...
I made this mix for my new friend, Ross in Portland...
1. Dylan- Oh, Sister: Gorgeous song, fiddle and harmonica sublime, Emmylou Harris, interesting narrative. 'nuff said.
2. Jose Gonzalez-Heartbeats: Heard The Knife's original, first and got so hooked. Thanks to Gwen for her awesome holiday mix, which included it. This cover is lovely and fits nicely with overall vibe of this mix.
3. Iron and Wine- Jezebel: Last year on New Years Eve I had a Radio 8 Ball (www.radio8ball.com) reading from Andras Jones, the proprietor thereof. Without much further commentary, suffice it to say that this song spoke to me on a very personal basis. My curiousity was piqued regarding the historical figure known as Jezebel and I did a bit of research on this infamous historical character.
In brief (and very likely somewhat inaccurate and a bit biased) summary, Jezebel meant "woman of Ba'al, or God in her native tongue. When she married and moved to Israel, her beliefs ran counter to the monotheism of Judaism, where she ended up in a showdown battle to the death with the historical figure who would become known as the prophet Elijah. In Hebrew, her name translated to "woman of dung". Ultimately, she lost and was thrown out the window of her room and eaten by dogs. She was in fact, a very loyal wife, but a “pagan” through and through. Interestingly archeological evidence indicates that in ancient Persian culture, images of women sitting in windows connote whores. Thus, she precedes the Magdalene as an "occult" sacred whore figure whose power, beliefs and practices ran counter to the general Judeo-Christian patriarchal project. Picking up on a theme, here?
4. John Lennon- Oh, Yoko: Always liked this song, but it isn't an all time fave or anything. It popped into my head recently and inspired this whole mix, rather mysteriously. I was a die-hard Beatle-file as a youth. Always been fascinated by John and Yoko’s relationship. The intimacy of “in the middle of bath, shave, etc" is an example of their comfort offering listeners this window into the very personal fabric of their lives in a way that no other rock stars of their caliber have ever offered -Their great strength and ultimately a factor in his demise... Dylanesque harmonica!
5. Mirah & Spectratone International- “Share This Place” -Community: Love the bass and the harmony on this. Check out http://www.lorigoldston.com/sharethisplace.htm for details on this multimedia collaboration…
6. Mirah & Spectratone International- “Share This Place” -Gestation of the Sacred Beetle: SI is quasi-chamber orchestra featuring a Turkish Oud and Middle Eastern percussion, both of which are musical passions of mine. Love the Oud. It may be my favorite instrument on earth. This song has a poignancy that gets me. Saw them perform this whole show at the Henry Art Gallery in November. Got to meet Mirah, too. It was cool:)
7. Joni Mitchell: Hejira: She is a lifelong shero of mine. This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Evocative imagery, Jaco Pastorius on bass. I think, dare I say it, that she may be the greatest lyricist in American popular music... Feel free to debate on this point.
8. Neko Case- Knock Loud: One of the most incredible songs I have ever heard. Love alt-country Neko, but the rawness of this one just kills me.
9. Dylan- Buckets of Rain: Favorite Dylan song on favorite Dylan record.
10. Broken Social Scene- Stars and Sons: Oh, such a yummy song. The bouncing quarter sample! This song is featured in the BSS soundtrack for the film, Half Nelson, which, incidentally is awesome, if you didn't see it. MMM, Ryan Gosling...
11. Brian Eno- Golden Hours: Used to listen to this record (Another Green World) a lot on the drive between Ann Arbor and Detroit when I was in grad school at Michigan many moons ago. I still see the dead dogs on the side of the decaying highway exit in poor beleaguered Detroit whenever I listen to this, despite its lilting electronica and Robert Fripp guitar solo...
12. Joan Armatrading- Cool Blue Steel Stole My Heart: This is my all-time favorite song by her. The refrain always gets me.
13. Marc Bolan- Jeepster: Mmm. Marc Bolan. Unplugged!- Acoustic Warrior...
14. Jim O’Rourke- Good Times: Love this whole EP and Loose Fur, too. Not so into his experimental stuff. He writes such consistently beautiful songs and such dark, twisted lyrics.
15. The Roches- Hammond Song: Another Robert Fripp guitar solo! Love the family dynamics depicted in these lyrics: "We'll always love you, but..."
16. Crosby, Stills, and Nash- 49 Bye Byes: Ok, i sometimes think of CSN as a "starter" record because so many teenagers discover it early in their rock education. But that may be a bit unfair. There are some classics on it, SJB, Helplessly Hoping, The one that is clearly aimed at Joni Mitchell after her romance with Graham Nash ended (there is a mirror image of it on her third album, For the Roses. Can I remember the names of either songs at the moment- no. sorry!) and this song, which never ceases to wound my heart.
17. Sarah Siskind- Lovin’s for Fools. Heartbreaking. My friend, Brandon posted the You Tube video of her performing it with Justin Vernon, the lead singer of Bon Iver and Bill Frisell. Heard it once and instantly fell in love with it. Here is the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5AddiEtMn0
I made this mix for my new friend, Ross in Portland...
1. Dylan- Oh, Sister: Gorgeous song, fiddle and harmonica sublime, Emmylou Harris, interesting narrative. 'nuff said.
2. Jose Gonzalez-Heartbeats: Heard The Knife's original, first and got so hooked. Thanks to Gwen for her awesome holiday mix, which included it. This cover is lovely and fits nicely with overall vibe of this mix.
3. Iron and Wine- Jezebel: Last year on New Years Eve I had a Radio 8 Ball (www.radio8ball.com) reading from Andras Jones, the proprietor thereof. Without much further commentary, suffice it to say that this song spoke to me on a very personal basis. My curiousity was piqued regarding the historical figure known as Jezebel and I did a bit of research on this infamous historical character.
In brief (and very likely somewhat inaccurate and a bit biased) summary, Jezebel meant "woman of Ba'al, or God in her native tongue. When she married and moved to Israel, her beliefs ran counter to the monotheism of Judaism, where she ended up in a showdown battle to the death with the historical figure who would become known as the prophet Elijah. In Hebrew, her name translated to "woman of dung". Ultimately, she lost and was thrown out the window of her room and eaten by dogs. She was in fact, a very loyal wife, but a “pagan” through and through. Interestingly archeological evidence indicates that in ancient Persian culture, images of women sitting in windows connote whores. Thus, she precedes the Magdalene as an "occult" sacred whore figure whose power, beliefs and practices ran counter to the general Judeo-Christian patriarchal project. Picking up on a theme, here?
4. John Lennon- Oh, Yoko: Always liked this song, but it isn't an all time fave or anything. It popped into my head recently and inspired this whole mix, rather mysteriously. I was a die-hard Beatle-file as a youth. Always been fascinated by John and Yoko’s relationship. The intimacy of “in the middle of bath, shave, etc" is an example of their comfort offering listeners this window into the very personal fabric of their lives in a way that no other rock stars of their caliber have ever offered -Their great strength and ultimately a factor in his demise... Dylanesque harmonica!
5. Mirah & Spectratone International- “Share This Place” -Community: Love the bass and the harmony on this. Check out http://www.lorigoldston.com/sharethisplace.htm for details on this multimedia collaboration…
6. Mirah & Spectratone International- “Share This Place” -Gestation of the Sacred Beetle: SI is quasi-chamber orchestra featuring a Turkish Oud and Middle Eastern percussion, both of which are musical passions of mine. Love the Oud. It may be my favorite instrument on earth. This song has a poignancy that gets me. Saw them perform this whole show at the Henry Art Gallery in November. Got to meet Mirah, too. It was cool:)
7. Joni Mitchell: Hejira: She is a lifelong shero of mine. This is one of my favorite songs of all time. Evocative imagery, Jaco Pastorius on bass. I think, dare I say it, that she may be the greatest lyricist in American popular music... Feel free to debate on this point.
8. Neko Case- Knock Loud: One of the most incredible songs I have ever heard. Love alt-country Neko, but the rawness of this one just kills me.
9. Dylan- Buckets of Rain: Favorite Dylan song on favorite Dylan record.
10. Broken Social Scene- Stars and Sons: Oh, such a yummy song. The bouncing quarter sample! This song is featured in the BSS soundtrack for the film, Half Nelson, which, incidentally is awesome, if you didn't see it. MMM, Ryan Gosling...
11. Brian Eno- Golden Hours: Used to listen to this record (Another Green World) a lot on the drive between Ann Arbor and Detroit when I was in grad school at Michigan many moons ago. I still see the dead dogs on the side of the decaying highway exit in poor beleaguered Detroit whenever I listen to this, despite its lilting electronica and Robert Fripp guitar solo...
12. Joan Armatrading- Cool Blue Steel Stole My Heart: This is my all-time favorite song by her. The refrain always gets me.
13. Marc Bolan- Jeepster: Mmm. Marc Bolan. Unplugged!- Acoustic Warrior...
14. Jim O’Rourke- Good Times: Love this whole EP and Loose Fur, too. Not so into his experimental stuff. He writes such consistently beautiful songs and such dark, twisted lyrics.
15. The Roches- Hammond Song: Another Robert Fripp guitar solo! Love the family dynamics depicted in these lyrics: "We'll always love you, but..."
16. Crosby, Stills, and Nash- 49 Bye Byes: Ok, i sometimes think of CSN as a "starter" record because so many teenagers discover it early in their rock education. But that may be a bit unfair. There are some classics on it, SJB, Helplessly Hoping, The one that is clearly aimed at Joni Mitchell after her romance with Graham Nash ended (there is a mirror image of it on her third album, For the Roses. Can I remember the names of either songs at the moment- no. sorry!) and this song, which never ceases to wound my heart.
17. Sarah Siskind- Lovin’s for Fools. Heartbreaking. My friend, Brandon posted the You Tube video of her performing it with Justin Vernon, the lead singer of Bon Iver and Bill Frisell. Heard it once and instantly fell in love with it. Here is the video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5AddiEtMn0
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Out of chaos...
Got divorced in September. Still kinda reeling from it. Keep thinking I am getting it together when another wave hits. Simultaneously experiencing career identity confusion. The world is chock full of fascinating options. What can I say? In the meantime, I need to commit my time and energy to a path. As a single mom, my time is limited and precious. Feel like my energy is going in too many directions at all times. Time to reel it in, but still not getting that gut level "YES" in any direction I am looking. Maybe it hasn't come along yet. Maybe its a mash up of what is already here. Don't know.
Doing the Landmark Forum this weekend. Part of me is hopeful for the transformative experience respected friends, family, and colleagues report having. Another part of me is wary of their corporate style, rumors of "brainwashing", etc. We shall see how it goes. Perhaps I will report back...
Doing the Landmark Forum this weekend. Part of me is hopeful for the transformative experience respected friends, family, and colleagues report having. Another part of me is wary of their corporate style, rumors of "brainwashing", etc. We shall see how it goes. Perhaps I will report back...
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